Healthy Rhythms

I am more and more convinced that healthy rhythms are key to living. What is living...true living? Here are some phrases that have stuck with me over the years:

• life that is truly life
• thriving 
• abundance
• thrill
• adventure
• depth 
• authenticity 

Today, I am engaging in Sabbath rest. That means disengaging from things that I am normally engaged with: anything ministry related, Facebook (though I have cheated a few times already), Instagram (ditto), family. I will cook, clean, organize my wedding photos for my family, run and watch a movie. And my prayer is that I would do all the above while being immersed in the intoxicating presence of my Creator.

I am bringing order into my disordered heart
By the direction and power of the Holy Spirit, Giver of Life. 

reposting @EugeneCho

"Breathe. Show yourself some grace. We can't do everything for everyone in every situation. Do what you can and do it with a joyful heart."

"Joyful heart" seems to be a state so far from my current reality. There are definitely glimpses of joy in my day, but more often than not, I feel weary and weak. 

Combatting the voices

Doing nothing
recharges
me.

But it's hard not to feel guilty
or worthless
or lazy.

First Post

I'm not sure if this blog will ever be seen by anyone. I actually wanted to start it for myself. To remember. To reflect.

I was inspired by a friend who has walked down this journey. Her words offered comfort on the most painful of days.

It's been over two years since I experienced the tipping point.

And this week, the relapse.

So for today, I need to remind myself that I am still in repair.

And to be kind to myself.